“Sometimes when you least expect it”
Pie-Guy Gordon is here doing our ring announcing tonight.
There will be no NWA Main Event wrestling 6/28 but 7/5 is the Star-Spangled Showdown, featuring Seven vs. Shaun Tempers.
We were joined for most of the match by Caitlin, which was a great time. She has lots of insider stories.
Awfully Hayes and Victor Van Glorious are out first. Oh! Oh! Oh! (It’s Magic).
Victor’s on the mic to welcome us to NWA Main Event, where we have some of the nastiest, trashiest people he has ever met. (Cliff “Yeah, and you manage them!)
Kerry is wearing the galoshes we had to wear in Elementary School.
Match #1 – Kerry Awful vs. Larry Cooter.
What do we want? Cooter! When do we want it? Now. (You’re on your own coming up with a g-rated prop for that, my friend.)
Despite the name, Kerry is not Awful. Cooter goes on the attack early. Cooter got some innovative offense in, and Kerry is a selling machine. Kerry gets a jawbreaker in while Cooter is distracted to turn things around. Cluster fudge where Cooter tries to punch Victor, Kerry bumps into Cooter, hitting Victor and knocking him off the apron.
Kerry gets the pin on Cooter using Hayes hands for support.
After the match Awfully Hayes fires Victor Van Glorious. Victor says that’s fine, he still has one more client.
Match #2 – Shane Steel w/ Victor Van Glorious vs. Psycho Medic.
Steel still needs more collars to pop.
Someone lost the ring bell because they didn’t use a bell all night, hardly. Steel gets the early advantage, and Psycho bails to regroup. Victor attempts to hydrate Psycho and gets soda on a lot of the bleacher crowd. Psycho Medic is giving the $1.99 beat down tonight.
Steel tries to do a flip off the corner, and they collide awkwardly. Psycho holds Steel in a fireman’s carry Forever until Omar Al Kazan and his band of Merry Men hit the ring. They beat down Psycho until Shaun Fatal makes the save. Omar challenges Fatal and Medic to a fight with his new Tag Team, Devastation, Inc. with The Master (Baiter) Scott Lee. Reminds me of Kato Kung Lee.
Psycho Medic threatens to start his own non-profit 501© to compete with them.
Match #3 – Josh Crow vs. Kaden Sade.
Josh Crow is someone I have seen on USWO videos, but never seen in action. Sade has been on a roll lately; even when he’s lost he hasn’t had to get carried out of the ring nearly as often as in the past. Sade’s Justin Liger-inspired kneepads really bother Cliff.
Cliff goes after Crow for his faux-hawk, and it is douche bag worthy.
These two tore the house down! Josh is a little bigger and more solid, but can match Sade move for move. Sade takes a 180 degree summersault flip to the outside on Crow, and Crow caught him and kept him safe. Sweet spinning backbreaker from Josh Crow. Damn, if he stayed here any length of time he would be up near the top, talent wise. We finally figured out, Josh Crow is doing the Miz, hence we nicknamed him the Mz, as in Mz Crow. Sade with a summersault DDT off the middle rope. Sade follows that with a reverse Frankensteiner. Completely misses with his 540 but gets the pin anyways.
Match #4 – Erik Hayes w/Kerry Awful vs. Matt Madison
Hayes has some spiffy new boots.
Matt seemed to take a step or two back from his heel turn tonight, going out of his way to shake hands in the crowd.
Hayes did a lot of his classic heel bits, but it really seemed like Madison was going slower then usual, like he was just going through the motions.
Hayes absolutely shocked the hell out of me with a Handspring into a German. I’m impressed. I’ve ridden him hard in the past, and he delivered tonight. Ref bump kills the ref, and lets Kerry come in for a combination Surfboad/kick to the face. Hayes picks up the win after the shenanigans. Shenanigans!
Omar was in the ring next, with his new Devastation Inc.
Match # 5- Devastation Inc (“The Master” Shaun Lee, and “The Machine” Ken Steel) vs. Shaun Fatal and Psycho Medic.
Fatal Medic? Fatal Psychos? Might get them the juggalo audience we lost when the Family left.
Cliff pointed out that every time Omar came out tonight, he had a new head scarf, and a matching tie. That’s pimpin!
Ken Steel reminds me a lot of Kevin Nash, and that’s not a good thing.
Scott Lee and Shaun Fatal combine for the first arm drags of the night. Caitlin agrees that the arm drag is the “go to” move of most Nashville wrestlers.
Scott Lee dosen’t show a whole lot, but dosen’t do anything bad either.
Ken Steel gets in, and botches climbing to the middle rope.
Steel and Lee are regulars with NICW, a promotion out of Virginia and North Carolina, as are apparently Dyron Flynn, Seven and Nick Iggy, as they are rated in the company’s top 10.
Pyscho Medic is giving them a good 1.99$ beatdown, when Ken Steel UNLOADS on Shaun Fatal with some “chops heard ‘round the world”. Seriously, in three hits, Fatal looks like he’s been caned. This inspires Psycho in the ring to break out a modified DDT for the win over Scott Lee. Steel responds by giving Brewster a middling clothesline. The rest of the refs come out to save their own.
Match #6 Chris Norte w/ Omar and Dyron Flynn vs. one half of the legendary Rock N Roll Express Ricky Morton.
This has to be a great thing for Norte, and I wonder how much hero worshipping the Elements did, they seem to live to be his successors.
The match itself tended to be one move, pose, one move, pose, rinse, repeat. But it is what it is for a match involving a genuine legend. Ricky’s kids are very active cheerleaders, and I really wanted to see Dyron give one a clothesline to the floor.
The “”Rock and Roll” chants get me sidetracked into a discussion with Cliff and Caitlin about TNN’s Rock And Bowl show. I still remember Cyrus pissed off he had to promote Rock N Bowl during ECW on TNN, but I digress.
Morton does Cliff’s least-favorite move, the hand-clap behind the head, which leads to a piece at the end.
Dyron grabs a leg, Norte hits two moves in a row, and Norte gets the pin after about a five count, while someone finally finds the bell.
Match #7 NWA Mid-American Southern Heavyweight Champion Seven w/Omar Al Kazan vs. Eric Hodge.
Hodge and Seven are just not complimentary, in my view. Hodge is a great catch wrestler, but his punches look like ass most of the time. Seven is a brawler with a pretty limited move set.
Seven comes out to almost no heat, and the apparently NWA-mandated (for secondary title holders) face paint. Even the presence of Omar dosen’t generate a lot of heat. Hodge dosen’t exactly get a lot of cheers, but Seven’s reaction is a mix of mild cheers for the monster and general indifference.
Hodge goes after Seven early, trying to pummel Seven into submission. Seven weathers this and then goes into his own offense. Hodge has a tendency to hit people with his wrists. Several times I catch myself going “What the hell was that, guys?” as they botch a move or miscommunicate.
Hodge spears the ref, then locks Seven into a submission hold, when he knows good and well the ref is knocked down, because he knocked him out. Referee Chris Hobbs comes in eventually, and Seven can’t answer the three arm-raisings. Eric Hodge is the new NWA Mid-American Southern Heavyweight Champion!!!!!
But, wait, not so fast. Referee Reedus is up, and he DQ’s Hodge for taking him out, thus Seven retains. That decision is met with moderate disapproval. Hodge walks over to the far side of the ring, and lays down, waiting for Seven to come over and beat on him.
A bad ending to a bad match.
Match #8 Dyron Flynn vs. Nick Iggy
Dyron says he’s gonna drag Nick Iggy all over this building tonight, and then do the same to Chris Michaels in Millersville Friday night, and Rob Conway on Sunday. Then he hides by the face ramp to Pearl Harbor Iggy as soon as he comes out from the stairs. Flynn punches the referee, Chris Hobbs, out of the way, and Iggy follows suit later. I’m not sure this was ever a match, as people are unable to bang two pieces of metal together.
(Cliff “I think they accidently raffled the bell off last week.) These two brawled in the front row, at ringside, in the bleachers, on tables at the far side of the arena, etc. No real big spots, but good intensity through out.
Charming Charles finally stops the brawl, and agrees to let both men settle their hatred of each other at the Star-Spangled Showdown in a 60-minute Iron Man match.
I thought I’d do something different today:
• Nick Iggy vs. Dyron Flynn. A good southern-styled brawl.
• Josh Crow vs. Kaden Sade. Great innovative match.
• Kerry Awful
• Seven vs. Eric Hodge.
And The Ugly
• Ken Steel in the ring.
• Eric Hodge punching.
Moves We Can’t Stand
So, Cliff has some moves he absolutely can’t stand to see done, because they are illogical.
• The handclap behind the head.
• Raking the back.
• Raking the eyes across the ropes.
To that list, I want to add:
• The pump-handle slam.
• The Sleeper.
So, does anyone have moves to add to that? Any one want to step up and defend those moves?
Also, wrestlers, it seems like I’m a journalist again, so if any of you want me to know your theme music or your finisher, send it to me.